The Question You Must Answer

In our constant quest to live by our highest priorities and make every moment count, there’s a question we don’t like to think about. Ironically, even though we don’t ask ourselves the question, we answer it by the way we use our time. I have found the question to be quite effective in reducing the stress of “too much to do” and helping me sort through the tsunami of possible activities I could undertake on a daily basis. The question… What am I willing to fail at?

“Fail at?” Yes. What are you willing to fail at?

I find all kinds of benefits in asking myself this question on an almost daily basis. Some of them include:

Forcing me to face reality.

Even though one of my most passionate points in a work life balance training program is that “we can’t get it ALL done,” I find myself thinking I can from time to time. As the tension mounts and my blood pressure rises, asking myself this question reminds me that some things just aren’t going to get done… or get done well, and that’s okay.

Reducing procrastination.

My perfectionist tendencies have stalled my professional progress multiple times. Acknowledging to myself that it’s okay to fail, and that in the process of failing I can learn something to use for future success, gives me the motivation to get started.

Increasing resources for focusing on what’s really important.

A few years ago I was struggling to find more time on the weekend to spend with my family. When I asked myself the question about what I was willing to fail at, I came up with everything from “having a clean car” to “keeping a well-manicured lawn” to “reading a newspaper.” Eliminating these activities, or at least reducing my expectations as to the quality of the outcome, gave me more time to spend with my wife and children.

If this question is too painful because you (falsely) believe you have to succeed at everything you do, here’s a less abrasive question:

What are you willing to fail at now so you can succeed at something else?

Regardless of how you ask the question, the most important thing is to intentionally ask it. Failing to do it just means you’re headed for a failure that will be even more painful in the long run.

Where would failing at something actually help you succeed?