Perfectionism Making You Crazy? Tackle It With These 4 Imperfect Steps

There’s often interesting moments in my coaching sessions when I hear a client talk about all they’re trying to get done and how well they want to get things completed. I’ll stop them and , “Let me ask you something, would you say you are a perfectionist?” There’s normally a short pause and they’ll say, “Yeah. It’s frustrating.”

A very straightforward definition of perfectionism as defined by Merriam-Webster, is “a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable”.

While, trying to get things done to a level of excellence is admirable, trying to get things done perfectly when our time and resources are so limited, is dangerous and costly in so many ways.

If you are wondering if the term perfectionist fits you, here is a simple Yes/No checklist you can use to see if you have tendencies toward perfectionism.

An article from Very Well Mind lays out 10 traits most commonly found in perfectionists. The checklist includes:

If you feel like you struggle with perfectionism, here are 4 simple steps you can take to get to a better place:

Identify Your Triggers

What’s triggering you to want to be perfect at this particular task or project? Is it a bad experience from the past? Or an unreasonable expectation from someone else? Is it pressure you’re putting on yourself to perform in a way that maybe right now you’re just not capable of performing? Whatever it is, ask yourself, “Is it valid? Is it helpful?”

Perfect But At What Cost

Take a moment to look at the cost of perfectionism. Not in dollars, but what about:

· The quality of your relationships with others? Are the people that are important in your life getting the short end of the perfectionist stick?

· Time you could be using on other things that are more important? Is this task in front of you worthy of the time and effort you’re putting into it when there’s something else you’d rather be doing or that truly does need your maximum amount of effort and energy?

· Your creativity? When you focus solely on performing a task in one way, sticking to protocol to avoid the chances of making mistakes, you forego the messiness of being creative. You miss out on potentially new ways of problem-solving, productivity and even job satisfaction.

What’s “Good Enough”?

Before you even begin a project, decide for yourself what “good enough” looks like. Here you can make it as specific and detailed as possible. But be willing to stick to it. Don’t add, extend or change it as you start working. This gives you the freedom to work on your task or project until you get to that “good enough” point. Then, you’ll be more likely to stop and say, “Okay, now I can send it on.”

Process Over Outcome

A final step I encourage people who learn toward perfectionism is to focus on the process and not the outcome. So often as a perfectionist there’s this big goal and big dream of what you want the outcome to look like. You can build it up so much in your mind, that it can become overwhelming. Then the questions flood your brain like, “What if I don’t make it?” and “What if I fail?” That type of thinking quickly leads to doubt which then leads to procrastinating.

Instead, focus on the process. What do you like about working on this project? What brings you joy? How does it serve others when you’re doing this? By shifting your focus, the process becomes the pieces that create the outcome.

Remember: