How To Talk With Someone Struggling With Overload

You’re watching the train wreck unfold right in front of you. It might be your boss who has so much on their plate, and they are rarely communicating with you or the team. It might be a coworker who is drowning in deadlines or feeling overwhelmed with a new assignment. Having been in this situation yourself, you know the dangers of not taking action, but you struggle with how to have a helpful conversation.

You could smile weakly and say, “It’s tough… we’re all busy,” which only serves to rationalize poor use of physical, mental, or emotional resources. Or you might try the always popular approach of “If there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know.” Remember how hard it was for you to ask for help the last time you were struggling at work?

The big challenge for you is that until they get things under control YOU can’t deliver your best work if you’re depending on them.

“But I don’t want to look like I’m butting in,” you retort. I agree, and I have, on many occasions avoided such conversations. But if it’s affecting their ability to do their job AND it’s limiting my opportunity to work effectively with them, I have learned it is best to make an honest attempt to help them.

So what do you say to help them move beyond this quagmire that they’re in? It comes down to 3 questions:

1. What are they in danger of missing or losing if they don’t get a better handle on this overload? When you’re so busy checking off 30+ items each day, it’s easy to lose perspective. Remind them of what they’ve said in the past is important to them and what they want to accomplish. Help them to see a real danger for not taking some action.
2. What’s one thing that’s really draining them and what’s one step they can take to move forward to help them reduce that drain on their physical, mental or emotional energy? Many times, people who are overloaded just can’t seem to take even one step because they feel so overwhelmed they just can’t get started. What’s one thing you can do to help with the situation? Guide them to thinking about a step or two they could take to reduce the stress caused by these things.
3. What’s something they’re willing to fail at right now that would free up some much needed time and energy for something else? That’s a really tough one. They may be trying to do everything well, and they may need to be reminded that right now, it’s okay if they don’t do this as well, or maybe not even get this done at all, so they can focus on the heavier, more important things that they REALLY want to spend their time and energy on.

Finally, keep the focus on your desire to see them be the authentic and fulfilled person you have seen them be in the past. You are their cheerleader, their coach, and their champion in this moment. 🤸

Wouldn’t you want someone to do the same for you when (not if) you are overloaded and don’t know what to do?