4 Ways To Stop The Elephant Of Comparing Yourself To Others

Jones Loflin
2 min readJan 23, 2023

Are you comparing your successes to other peoples and then feeling pressure because you haven’t achieved what someone else has achieved?

Well, you’re not alone.

According to an article in Betterhelp, there are a lot of negative effects that result from comparing yourself to others. The list includes dwelling on your shortcomings, low self-esteem, envy, being unrealistic and magnifying imperfections. (Sounds about right.)

If you’re feeling the Elephant of Comparison weighing you down from time to time, here are 4 suggestions to get you to a better place.

The 1st suggestion is to remind yourself that other people’s outsides cannot be compared to your insides. If you know your purpose, your values and what’s important to you, then the question to ask is, “Am I aligning my daily activities with those kinds of things?” That’s going to look different than someone else’s insides and outsides. It’s much like the idiom of comparing apples to oranges, while they have similar properties, they are both very different.

The 2nd suggestion is to compare yourself…to yourself. Focus on reflecting how you’ve grown as an employee or business owner, a parent, a spouse or a friend. (You get the point.) Look at all those roles you’re fulfilling and ask yourself how you are better at something now than you were in the past? And celebrate that! Even if it’s a small positive change. Every positive victory builds on the other!

3rd — Grab the popcorn and get the best seat in the house, sit back and watch their lives unfold! If you’re going to look to social media for your comparisons, remember that it’s like watching a movie reel. People rarely, if ever, show the sacrifices, frustrations and other things going on. They put their best out there to be “oohed” and “ahhed” at, knowing that if we knew all the bloopers they had in the making of their roles, we’d probably reconsider ever trying to achieve their level of a successful life.

And finally, ask yourself, “Who inspires me to live better in the ways that really matter?” Chances are it’s not that long list of people you have following your Instagram and Facebook pages.

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Jones Loflin

My passion for over 29 years has been to help people make better choices with their time so they can thrive in the ways that are important to them!