4 Quick Questions To Test If It’s Time To Speak Up

I recently received an email from someone asking for my advice about talking with their manager. They said, “I see some things happening on our team that I just don’t think are helpful, and I’d like to talk to my manager about it, but I just don’t know if I’m ready to do that? How can I know if I’m ready?”

I gave them 4 questions to answer to help them determine if they were ready to have a more productive conversation with them.

Question #1: Have I done my homework?

Do you know what’s going on in the world of your mangers or other team members that might be causing some of these negative behaviors? Do you have some observations or insights into what’s been happening that can help them more effectively address your concerns?

Question 2 — Do I know the best time to talk to my manager?

What’s going on in their day? Is there a time of day when you can approach them that they might be more receptive, than another time? Maybe before the day gets too busy and packed with meetings is the best time? Or is it near the end of the day when loose ends are getting tied up and things are winding down? If possible, can you schedule this conversation and give them some insights as to what it’s about so they can be better prepared and not worried about the purpose of the meeting?

Question 3 — Have I practiced my “I” language?

While it may sound strange, it’s so easy to say “you” when in reality it’s important to say “I”; “I’m noticing”, “I’m feeling”, “I’m experiencing”. You’re sharing your perspective. Don’t try to project onto the other person. Let them share what they see from their perspective after you let them know what you’re experiencing or feeling.

Question 4 — Do I have a solution that may include me doing some additional work?

You’ve done your homework. You’ve found the best time to approach your manager. You’re even prepared to share your perspective with some “I” language. Are you ready to offer more?

Managers love it when team members come to them with a problem AND a possible solution. There’s always challenges in the workplace. And some of them your manager most likely already knows. However, when you say, “Here’s a possible solution and here’s what I’m willing to do to help make that solution successful,” then you will be more likely to have a meaningful conversation that will result with you being heard.

And an added bonus #5 — be ready to listen as well. It’s equally important to be an engaged, active listener into what they have to say. You might gain some relevant insight or new perspectives on what was driving you to have the conversation in the first place.